Archive | February, 2013

Miscarriage from a fathers point of view

5 Feb

As we start a new year, I look back at 2012 and think about all the things that have happened in my life, its been a year of mixed emotions. I’ve been blessed beyond belief with a beautiful daughter and a wife who loves me to pieces and I’m fortunate to be surrounded by an amazing family and some great friends but on the flip side, I’ve had to deal with some serious lows.

If you read Heathers blog, you will remember that we had some very sad news last year, we had to deal with a miscarriage, to say it was hard would be an understatement, I really hope no one ever has to go through it and I pray for anyone that has, sadly for us it it didn’t end at just the one.

Heather fell pregnant again in early October and once again we were so excited, I put all the past hurts from the previous miscarriage behind me and truly thought that this time it would be different, I was so excited to announce the news to everyone but sadly it wasn’t to be.
Heather started bleeding at 10 weeks and was rushed to hospital, once there, they checked her over and told us to come back 2 days later for a scan, those 2 days were the longest of our lives, I tried to keep everything together and have a positive exterior but inside I was scared.

We returned to the hospital where it was confirmed that our little baby had no heartbeat, we both broke down in tears yet I knew I had to be strong for Heather, she needed me to be there for her and as a man, it’s my duty to take care of the woman in my life and give her the support and care she needs. The next week was a difficult period, if the baby didn’t pass then Heather would have to undergo surgery to have it removed, we didn’t know what option would be worse, but the choice was made for us and unfortunately Heather had to give birth to the featus at home.

As much as I was hurting, I guess it will never compare to that of a mother, which is completely understandable, but I learnt to grieve in my own way and had my sad days too, I felt robbed.
Some things we will never know the answer too, we will never know the reason why or how things happen, I guess it’s just one of lifes mysteries. Like everyone else I was entitled to have a down day, a time to grieve, reflect and gather my thoughts and in those days, we chose as a family to stay united, stay strong for one another and look at the positives we have in our lives, it made us even more grateful for each other and for Eivissa and the bad news only spurred us on to make the most of this precious life. We know that one day our dream of a second child WILL become a reality, if we based our lives on what the world tells us then by rights Eivissa would never be here at all, but she is and soon enough she will have a little brother or sister of her own.

When writing these words, our aim isn’t to put fear or doubt into the minds of expectant parents, it’s to hopefully offer an insight into how life can be if you embrace your sadness and make them positive, we’ve all had our share of heartache and I hope you can find the joy that life has in abundance to offer, if only you choose to seek it. There’s a very well know quote that goes, ‘life’s a series of thousands of tiny little miracles’, which is so apt for us, be thankful for the ordinary, for the things that we daily take for granted and in doing so our lives will become fulfilled.

It really means so much to Heather and I that you read this blog and give such great feedback, the amount of emails we received over this last year has been overwhelming, We just wish we could meet every single one of you in person and say thank you for your encouragement. The power of words can never be underestimated, it’s something we can take for granted, to tell someone they are loved, that they can do something is often just what the person needs to hear, so if you think it, then say it.

Family fun in the snow. Appreciating the blessings we have!

Baby Friday. click here to view our latest kids collection

Saying Goodbye. click here for info on the charity we support