the gift of positive thinking

28 Aug

As you probably know I’m a very positive person, the reason I’m like this is because I choose to be, it’s how I deal with life and ive found that in every situation if I can focus on the good rather than the bad then it can only be beneficial for me.

Some people may look at me and think that I have it all together, like my life is perfect and trouble free, I’m just like everybody else, I have my own problems, I cry, feel sad sometimes and I have to deal with the same things we all go through but the one thing that I find helps me in all this is to look at the big picture of my life and to stay positive.

I know throughout my journey, I’m going to have bumps and turns but they are put there to test and help make me stronger, I’m committed to turn my troubles into victories, to make my sad days, happy ones and to cling onto the tiniest bit of positivity I can find in any situation.

I think a lot of the reason I view life like this is because of my mother, when she was just 17 years old, she moved from Colombia to come study in London, she found her time quite difficult and at times very lonely.
She later moved to Bradford where she met my father and got married and set up home, they then decided to start a family but sadly suffered a couple of miscarriages before giving birth to me.
I was mum and dads little miracle but the doctors soon discovered I had breathing problems and that my chances of survival would be very slim, thankfully I pulled through and mum and dad went on to have 2 more children, Steven and Joy.
Sadly Steven lost his life in an accident when he was just 7 years old, leaving the whole family shattered and broken but mum was determined not to let these things steel joy from her life but turn everything around.

The reason I’m sharing all this is because on paper it looks like my mum has had a very hard life, her circumstances haven’t been the best and having to deal and cope with some of the things she has been through would make most people bitter, angry and negative to the world, rather, my mum has taken all her heartache and turned it into something positive, she realised very early on that her outlook on life will effect me and my sister and even though at times it may have hurt to smile and be positive, she still did it, she always clung onto the tiniest bit of joy in every situation and made that her mission in life.

Me and my Mummy

I began to look at other positive friends in my world and noticed something. That their mothers have all had to deal with tragedy or emmence pain in their lives. I realised that these women had passed on this amazing gift of ‘positivity’ to their children which has gone on to effect how they see their own lives.

My Aunt is in her 60s and has the most amazing story, she was rescued from the streets of Colombia and adopted into my mothers family, she suffered personel losses and had to cope growing up without a mother or father. She later married an English man and had 2 beautiful girls, Joanna and Vanessa. She doesn’t look to the negatives in her life which for a time there was a lot, but is thankful for what she has been given. Her daughters have grown into wonderful women, the eldest a business women and mother of three and the youngest a talented musician and composer who works along side her husband. They both live life to the full and make the most of everything life sends them.
It would be easy to assume that this family have got it all together but the choices my aunt has made has in turn led the family to grow up and be thankful for the smallest things.

Me and my beautiful cousin Vanessa

Another amazing person in my life is one of my closest friends, she is a talented photographer and one of the most positive people I know. Her mother is a wonderful women who lives life to the full and is always smiling! You wouldn’t tell by her outlook on life that when she was 28 years old her husband passed away leaving behind 5 children, the eldest 9 and the youngest Jojo just 12 months.
She did everything in her power to give her children the best she could and raised them all brilliantly, all the kids are grown up and they remain a very close and happy family with the determination to live life and make the most of everything.

Me and my friend Jojo

Sometimes we need to just stop for a second and look at our lives, we all have bad stuff happen to us everyday, none of us are immune to it, the stories above prove that, but don’t stay too long in the negative, it will only haunt you, try and find a glimpse of positivity and hopefully it will help.

I can’t tell you how important it is to pass this down to your children, every day I’m trying to teach Eivissa and encourage her in everything she does, just as my mum did with me, I’d like to think these values are fundamental to shaping how we assess our situations.

Thank you to my Mum and Dad that I get to wake up every morning and be thankful to God for what I have and to strive to make the most of life because everyday is precious.

Mum and me as a baby, me and Eivissa

9 Responses to “the gift of positive thinking”

  1. Beth August 29, 2012 at 11:15 am #

    Hi Heather
    What a lovely post! To think
    Many people have heartache in their life ( including myself) but choose to be positive and enjoy & embrace each day! As there will always be a turning point & good things eventually do come around! I’m a soon to be mummy which is my miracle !myself and my gorgeous husband couldn’t be happier right now!
    You’re an inspiration! Thanks for post such heart warming words!
    Beth x

    • heatherfrancesca August 30, 2012 at 5:11 pm #

      Thank you Beth for your comment. All the best with your pregnancy and birth! Enjoy every second, you are truly blessed! There is nothing like becoming a mummy and daddy. It’s just the best!

      Heather Francesca

  2. Angela August 30, 2012 at 11:11 am #

    Love the site, saw you on one born every minute. Im in lil old NZ and also beleive in positive outlooks , i home birthed both my sons naturally it was amazing and went perfectly with my man by my side. :). My motto has always been surround yourself with positive people. Very refreshing to (meet) read about you :).

    • heatherfrancesca August 30, 2012 at 5:08 pm #

      Thank you Angela for your encouraging message. Glad my positivity is reaching NZ! Wishing all the best to you and your family!
      Heather Francesca xx

  3. Agnes September 3, 2012 at 4:36 pm #

    Hi Heather Francesca, thank you for this beautiful text. I made your acquaintance watching one born every minute and then went on to read your blog. The way you prepared and lived the birth of your baby brought hope and courage to lots of women and for this we must thank you. I could not have any children but I like the way you live your motherhood and find your blog deeply inspiring. I too have always tried to dig out the positive out of the dark moments life has thrown at me, it is not easy but it is important to try. Doing this we realise that it is not so much what happens to us that matters but the way we deal with it. Surrounding yourself with positive people is vital too. A lot of us are drawn to negative souls as we want to help but nobody changes anybody and in the end we get dragged down and lose our energy. Thank you for sharing your experiences, I will keep on reading you. Take care of yourself and your lovely family. Peace

    • heatherfrancesca September 3, 2012 at 10:35 pm #

      Hi Agnes
      Thank you so much for your message. It really does mean a lot to hear my words and my experience is encouraging other women. You are so right, keeping the right people around you does affect your outlook on life and how fast you reach your goals.
      I hope and pray that you go on to achieve your hopes and dreams. I’m sure with your positive attitude you will.
      All the best
      Thank you
      Heather Francesca

  4. nikita September 15, 2012 at 1:05 am #

    You truly are such an inspiring person. your positive outlook on everything is so admirable. you will be successful in everything in life that you do including being a mother to your beautiful girl.


    • heatherfrancesca September 15, 2012 at 11:55 pm #

      Thanku nikita.
      Your encouraging words are always welcome!

  5. Helena September 17, 2012 at 7:36 pm #

    Hello Heather, I found your blog the other day, and I’m so glad!!
    I love your outlook on life, your style – so stylish, and Eivissa’s room too! You’ve inspired me to make more of myself (I have children too, and don’t seem to feel I should look good anymore!) and appreciate what I’ve got.
    So thank you for sharing so much in this space, and happy Birthday to Eivissa too

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