Archive | August, 2012

the gift of positive thinking

28 Aug

As you probably know I’m a very positive person, the reason I’m like this is because I choose to be, it’s how I deal with life and ive found that in every situation if I can focus on the good rather than the bad then it can only be beneficial for me.

Some people may look at me and think that I have it all together, like my life is perfect and trouble free, I’m just like everybody else, I have my own problems, I cry, feel sad sometimes and I have to deal with the same things we all go through but the one thing that I find helps me in all this is to look at the big picture of my life and to stay positive.

I know throughout my journey, I’m going to have bumps and turns but they are put there to test and help make me stronger, I’m committed to turn my troubles into victories, to make my sad days, happy ones and to cling onto the tiniest bit of positivity I can find in any situation.

I think a lot of the reason I view life like this is because of my mother, when she was just 17 years old, she moved from Colombia to come study in London, she found her time quite difficult and at times very lonely.
She later moved to Bradford where she met my father and got married and set up home, they then decided to start a family but sadly suffered a couple of miscarriages before giving birth to me.
I was mum and dads little miracle but the doctors soon discovered I had breathing problems and that my chances of survival would be very slim, thankfully I pulled through and mum and dad went on to have 2 more children, Steven and Joy.
Sadly Steven lost his life in an accident when he was just 7 years old, leaving the whole family shattered and broken but mum was determined not to let these things steel joy from her life but turn everything around.

The reason I’m sharing all this is because on paper it looks like my mum has had a very hard life, her circumstances haven’t been the best and having to deal and cope with some of the things she has been through would make most people bitter, angry and negative to the world, rather, my mum has taken all her heartache and turned it into something positive, she realised very early on that her outlook on life will effect me and my sister and even though at times it may have hurt to smile and be positive, she still did it, she always clung onto the tiniest bit of joy in every situation and made that her mission in life.

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Me and my Mummy

I began to look at other positive friends in my world and noticed something. That their mothers have all had to deal with tragedy or emmence pain in their lives. I realised that these women had passed on this amazing gift of ‘positivity’ to their children which has gone on to effect how they see their own lives.

My Aunt is in her 60s and has the most amazing story, she was rescued from the streets of Colombia and adopted into my mothers family, she suffered personel losses and had to cope growing up without a mother or father. She later married an English man and had 2 beautiful girls, Joanna and Vanessa. She doesn’t look to the negatives in her life which for a time there was a lot, but is thankful for what she has been given. Her daughters have grown into wonderful women, the eldest a business women and mother of three and the youngest a talented musician and composer who works along side her husband. They both live life to the full and make the most of everything life sends them.
It would be easy to assume that this family have got it all together but the choices my aunt has made has in turn led the family to grow up and be thankful for the smallest things.

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Me and my beautiful cousin Vanessa

Another amazing person in my life is one of my closest friends, she is a talented photographer and one of the most positive people I know. Her mother is a wonderful women who lives life to the full and is always smiling! You wouldn’t tell by her outlook on life that when she was 28 years old her husband passed away leaving behind 5 children, the eldest 9 and the youngest Jojo just 12 months.
She did everything in her power to give her children the best she could and raised them all brilliantly, all the kids are grown up and they remain a very close and happy family with the determination to live life and make the most of everything.

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Me and my friend Jojo

Sometimes we need to just stop for a second and look at our lives, we all have bad stuff happen to us everyday, none of us are immune to it, the stories above prove that, but don’t stay too long in the negative, it will only haunt you, try and find a glimpse of positivity and hopefully it will help.

I can’t tell you how important it is to pass this down to your children, every day I’m trying to teach Eivissa and encourage her in everything she does, just as my mum did with me, I’d like to think these values are fundamental to shaping how we assess our situations.

Thank you to my Mum and Dad that I get to wake up every morning and be thankful to God for what I have and to strive to make the most of life because everyday is precious.

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Mum and me as a baby, me and Eivissa

one born every minute

28 Aug

Heather Francesca here, we were
lucky enough to feature on this series of ‘one born every minute'(our episode
is on Wednesday 11th january) and I have been wanting to spread the word on my
amazing experience of child birth, yes, thats right, i used the words
‘amazing’ and ‘child birth’ in the same sentence! some of you mothers
out there might think I’m mad but that is honestly the experience I
had! So here goes my story…..

My husband and I run a fashion and styling business called daniel
francesca and have been runnung this for 10 years, as you would expect
in business, its not easy and we have been constantly busy since day
one. We never had time to consider a family of our own until the penny
dropped in late 2010 when we realised that we are in control of our
future and ‘we’ decide what kind of parents we are going to be!

We were told by doctors 3 years ago that it might be difficult to
conceive as I don’t have a menstral cycle, we had all the tests etc
done and no-one could explain why I had no periods, my husband and I
were not worried in the slightest as we knew that timing is always
perfect and that no medical expert is going to dictate our dreams of
becoming parents one day, so we remained positive and December 2010
we conceived, I went the first month without a clue that I was
pregnant,then one day,as I’m sure alot of you mums can relate to, I
just ‘knew’, I told my husband, who rushed out to get a pregnancy test
and sure enough that solid blue line appeared,
shocked,emotional,happy,sad, every emotion you can think of consumed
my body but the overwhelming sense that anything is possible if you
dare to believe was one that will stay with me forever!!

We wanted to take our positive attitude into my pregnancy, so the
first thing we did was write a list of every single little thing that
we were expectant for, from no morning sickness to maintaining a good
sex life( the little things are important)hehe! We had 28 things on
our list that we wanted to see happen and this was a great goal and
test of mental strength not only for myself but in our relationship as
future parents!

So, the first few months breezed past and by our 20 week scan
we were so excited, for years we had always spoke about our little
girl and we were both convinced that I was carrying a little princess,
sure enough as the sonographer hovered around over my tummy, she
turned to confirm our initial thoughts ‘ it’s a GIRL’ funnily enough
this was the same room that years earlier we were told it might never
happen!

With another thing ticked off the list( yes,I know , it may sound daft
but we put we wanted a girl on our list) but if you don’t ask then you
don’t get eh? We found ourselves in the hands of our amazing
midwife,Alison, who whilst taking my temp and blood presssure asked
if we wanted to go on the one born every minute show, ‘yesssss
please’ shouted Danny followed by ‘hold on a minute’ from me, ‘ I
don’t want the world seeing my bits’, Alison then went on to explain
that it is non invasive and that she thought we could help alot of
expectant mothers out there and show that there is another side to pregnancy
that it can be very pleasant, so we agreed and within a few days the
producers were over at our house.

The last trimester was my favourite, knowing that as every day passes
I am one step closer to meeting my little miracle, the week before the
due date the one born every minute team came to do our interviews and
it all suddenly became so real that any day now I get to meet her,I
remained calm and relaxed about labour as my attitude towards
pregnancy had worked so far so why should labour be any different,
then the night of the 16th September the twinging in my belly
started, Danny packed the bags and got into his favourite outfit
declaring ‘i’ve got to look good for tv’ I told him hang on a second,
it’s only a twinge,we’re going nowhere yet!As the night passed, the
contractions became more intense, then at 8am the next morning we
decided it was time to go in! I got my heels on,did my hair and make
up and off we went!

We arrived at Leeds general infirmary and was quickly miked up by the sound crew, we then headed to the delivery suite to be greeted by
several of the crew who at this point i considered extended family
members, we then met our midwife who had to have a double take at this
women standing before her claiming to be in labour whilst wearing high
heels with a full face of make up on,we proceeded to the water
birthing suite where I was examined and found that I was over 4cm
dilated!!ahhhhh

Were goin to be mummy and daddy any time soon I said to Danny, we knew
that this was it, that everything we had hoped and prayed for over
the previous 9months was soon to become reality, although the
cameras were in every corner of the room with crew members in
the gallery watching I felt completely alone with Danny as if it were
just us, then at 3.34 pm On September 17th 2011(on her due date) I
gave birth to my precious angel, Eivissa Cali Greig weighing 7lb7oz,
my labour was amazing and I didn’t require any drugs or gas and air
which again was my wish from the beginning!

Not only did we manage to conceive but I went through the whole
pregnancy with no sickness, pains or anything to complain about, our
attitude towards pregnancy and labour was one filled with positivity
and a sense that if you believe something so much then that really can
come true!!

Looking back, it still brings me to tears thinking about the amazing
wonder of child birth, i am proud to be a woman and proud of all the
other women out there that have been through or are about to go
through this beautiful experience, i commend you and we all need to
celebrate one another, no matter what the experience!!

The message I want to share to all the expectant mums or the ones who
are told that ‘they can’t ‘ have children is that ‘positivity and
knowing your own mind, can get you anything you want and not to let
the fear of disappointment stop you from believing it can happen’

Thanks for taking time out to read this!

Kind regards

Heather Francesc

Www.heatherfrancesca.wordpress.com
Twitter @heatherfrancesc
Facebook heatherfrancesca

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Me, Danny and Eivissa with the brilliant one born every minute team.