Archive | April, 2012

Am I a good mother?

11 Apr

Am I a good mother? Every mother at one point probably asks themselves this question. I know, I have. Its crazy that the very thing that nature intended us to be is the very same thing that we question, second guess and always criticise of ourselves. When Danny’s tells me ‘Your such a good mum’, I feel happy inside, proud that I’ve succeeded in what I’ve being called to be.
This area is something us mothers should be praising one another for as we all struggle with the feeling of ‘am i doing this right?’ i don’t understand why some women try to put other mothers down for how they want to raise their children, the constant criticism from other mothers can make you second guess your own actions in fear of how others will see you, this way of doing things can lead to a miserable time of pleasing every one else but yourself, remember Happy mummy, happy baby.

Why? I think to myself do women do this? It doesn’t make sense to scrutinize someone in an area where you are trying to do the best at too, shouldn’t we be lifting each other up and growing and learning together? Do some people feel that by putting people down in an area that they themselves may be struggling in will make themselves feel better? Is it out of their own insecurities they feel the need to belittle other mothers.
As far as I’m concerned there is no perfect formula for raising your child, everyone has an opinion on things and ultimately it’s up to you where to change a nappy, what way you wean your baby or whether you breast feed or not. The answer to good parenting in my mind is, if your baby is happy and healthy, then you are doing a great job, whether you think it or not, the only person your baby wants in the whole world is you!

Since becoming a mum, my outlook on the world has changed somewhat, for the most part, it’s been fab to be on this journey with other women, but I have seen the other side, the side where women put you down for the way you choose to do things or give loaded comments on even the little things such as the brand of baby wipes you choose!
Starting my blog and telling people of my wonderful experiences, preaching positivity and enjoyment of becoming a mum was putting myself out there as a target, I knew that people were watching my every move, waiting for me to slip up. One person told me I shouldn’t have had a baby if I still wanted go out and have a life, I later found out that this woman had a controlling mother, was this woman bringing up her baby how she wanted or how her mother instructed?
Another instance was when Eivissa was 4 weeks old, we went out with a group of friends for my husbands birthday and of course we took Eivissa with us, after a great evening, we left the Italian restaurant and noticed our friends having an argument with a women, it turns out that this women had thought we were terrible parents for bringing our daughter out at night and our friends did the right thing in defending us as parents, a couple of weeks later we were shopping in the evening when we came face to face with the same woman, again, she shouted at us and was angry that we had OUR baby out past 7 o’clock, I couldn’t believe it nor could I understand it, what bothered this woman so much? I was so upset I was shaking! I know I’m a good mother but I found myself justifying that I was. This is not how us women should treat each other.

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At the restaurant with Eivissa

We need to be confident in our own decisions. This can help you have a more enjoyable time, even in those tricky times when your not quite sure what baby wants. I like to think that my way of parenting is perfect for my daughter. Remember every baby is different and whilst getting some advice can be helpful your choice of parenting is down to you, so don’t be afraid to do what you feel best suits you and your baby.

Just this week I saw a women changing her little baby in the back of the car in a supermarket car park, I could hear the baby laughing and I commented on how cute the baby was, immediately the mother defended why she wasn’t changing the little boy in the baby change room, that didn’t cross my mind, the baby didn’t sound distressed, in fact, he sounded very happy, Its sad that she thought that I was judging her.

We shouldn’t care how others view our parenting skills. I was determined to always listen to my instincts and bring my baby up the way I saw best, after all I was the mother and nature itself had decided that I was the best person for the job, I just hope that us mothers can come together and celebrate the different ways of doing things and learn to be an an encouragement to one another.

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Baby Eivissa at 6 months

4 Apr

On 17th march we celebrated Eivissa’s half birthday! It has gone so fast but yet we can’t imagine that we lived without her. She has learnt so many things already! it’s so amazing watching her little character grow, what makes her laugh and smile. I never would have believed having children would teach you so many things about your own life and about what matters and what doesn’t.

Being a mum has surprised me in so many ways, I never thought it was possible to love something so much and that love i have felt on a daily basis has made me have more love and compassion towards others. Its made me even more grateful to my amazing husband who helped create such a beautiful girl that I can look at and see the ultimate token of love that is half me and half him. Its helped me understand things from a parents point and again reaffirmed my gratitude towards my parents for the wonderful job they did for me and my siblings, it’s also made me so thankful to my friends who believed in my ablitilly as a mum and encouraged the decisions I made for my new family.

Eivissa has done so much already I cant believe how the time flies.

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From the moment I knew I was pregnant, I decided to enjoy every second of it. I knew it would be the most amazing experience!

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We have had so much fun taking her places, we dressed her up for Halloween and Christmas parties, took her to London, showed her the great tradition of bonfire night and so much more.
She is with me all the time, even when I do my makeup (I couldn’t resist kissing her). we have created this hole in our life that she is filling and it is the most rewarding thing in the world.

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Going to London for our tv interviews and magazine shoots has been a blast! Eivissa was so good. Think she loves the camera haha!

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We have enjoyed so many ‘firsts’, first time going swimming, first time in the sun, first time sleeping in her cot and my first mothers day!

20120404-230928.jpgher first date with a boy! she put him in his place!

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Her milestones have been so great to see! Sitting, crawling and standing.
Seeing her smile and laugh is the best feeling. I have never smiled so much, my cheeks hurt!

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As for my husband it has made him feel ‘super charged for life!’ and more drive to love life to the full. He is an amazing father and a more wonderful husband. I couldn’t think of anyone better to take this journey with, he also helped me create a very beautiful cute baby!

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This 6 months has created so many lasting memories that I get to keep for ever, I’m so thankful for each day I get to wake up with my wonderful family, feeling honoured and spoilt by the love I have inside for them, I can’t wait for the next day, month and even years to document all these special moments, creating a life of memories and living life to the full.

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Celebrating her 6 month birthday with her first taste of real food(weaning blog coming soon)