When private goes public (how it felt to be on one born every minute)

12 Jan

Sorry its taken so long to get this blog up, today feels so surreal, I have been going through the many responses I have had from all you wonderful people reading this, I wanted to share with you all how it felt to do the most private, intimate thing known to nature live on national television.

Some of my friends thought I was a little crazy to do this and as 9pm approached I was starting to think the same, nervous would be an understatement, as the first scene appeared with me walking into the hospital in my heels I thought, ‘oh dear’, why did I sign up for this? I was soon put at ease by the many encouraging texts and i started to watch my birth unfold just as you did,

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Getting ready to watch the show!

The theme running through last nights episode was pain and the contrast the the same experience can bring, the editors had purposely choose the two extremes of child berth,one been pleasant and the other quite difficult, personally I think Kerry and Renne did an amazing job and their little baby’s were sooo cute,

A few minutes in we all witnessed Danny taking a suck on the gas and air, I remember him doing that and in my head I was talking to him but the words were not coming out of my mouth, funny to think that although I was in control of my body, my words were clearly elsewhere, in my head I was telling him to not to get drugged up because i needed him.

You may have noticed that Danny and I were listening to music through our iPod, we decided to do this as I wanted Danny to be as relaxed as me’, sometimes if your partner stresses it can cause you stress, we choose some very calm gospel music that would put us both in a relaxed state of mind, enabling us to stay focused on the task in hand.

As my contractions got more and more intense I knew that I needed to push, I was convinced that the baby was coming out of my bum and the midwife kept having to reassure me that it most definitely was not, the next moment after a few big pushes I looked down through the water to see my beautiful girl looking up at me! ‘that’s what you look like, so nice to meet you at last,’ A few pushes later she was completely out and in my arms, I thought was shouting for joy at the top of my voice but again, that was all inside my head!

You will have noticed that Danny played an active roll in supporting me, his love, care and constant encouragement made our moment truly special, the fact that he wasn’t afraid to show his emotions confirmed to me how good of a father he will be, that he will love and dote on his little girls forever.

All in all, I thought the show perfectly captured my experience and I hope the love that we have as a family came across in good light( even tho Danny was made to look slightly camp), we did have a good laugh at this tho.
I was so glad I got to share my experience with you all and if I did it again I would do it exactly the same, and I would recommend everyone to get a ‘glabour’ outfit, perfect for modesty! Hehe

After the show, tucked up in bed and began to read the hundreds of messages sent by family, friends and complete strangers, overwhelmed doesn’t do my feelings any justice, we began to sob, reading that my birth has inspired people and completely changed there views on child berth.

when I started this blog, I had one aim, one thing that I stand by passionately, that was to ‘help’ change womens attitude towards pregnancy, I often wonder how can ‘little me’ help, I mean, I’m just a normal girl, no different to any other mums out there, I don’t see myself better than anyone else but I have been very fortunate to have an amazing experience and why shouldn’t I share it, too often the horror stories are told and it’s so easy to apply that to your own experience, especially if that is all you hear, I think it’s about time that we start celebrating great birthing experiences, we women should stick together and empower one another, celebrate the fact that we get to do this together,
Like I said, I was very fortunate to have a great experience and I know alot of people reading this may have had a torrid time, I want to say to EVERY mother out there that no matter what your experience,you did an amazing job and the thing we all have in common is the fact that our outcomes were exactly the same! I solute all of you!!

if you have been following my blog you are probably aware that my conception was a miracle in itself, i was told that having children may prove to be difficult as i hadn’t had a menstrual cycle in 5 years, however, I am now the proud mother of Eivissa, the day I found out about my conception was the day I vowed to never take anything for granted, women are told everyday that it might never happen, and who am I to complain, i consider myself very lucky and to all you women out there that are told it might never happen, keep hope, even if it’s the tiniest bit, you just never know!

Thanks to all all the midwives at L.G.I(especially Jane) the nurses,doctors, producers of one born, the mother, fathers and all the beautiful children that get to create this fantastic show! Brilliant job

I would love to hear if I have helped you in any way, I want to hear your birth stories and be able to share your kind words with everyone who reads this, please send your stories to the email address on the contact page

Thanks

Heather Francesca

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Some of my best friends watching the show in London! Apparently pubs weren’t showing it! Ha!

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5 Responses to “When private goes public (how it felt to be on one born every minute)”

  1. Rachel January 13, 2012 at 12:23 pm #

    I watched the show and I just thought you and Danny were both amazing. Even having 3 children myself it never cease to amaze me how wonderful and special giving birth it. It’s an incredibly amazing experience and I agree, calm is best and a non-stressed partner really does help.

    Thank you for sharing your wonderful experience!! xx

  2. Steph January 13, 2012 at 9:07 pm #

    Hiya, A friend linked me to your blog, and I’ve really enjoyed reading it 🙂

    I just wanted to say that I LOVED watching your birth, it was just like how my son was born back in february and brought back many many beautiful memories. Isn’t the birth pool wonderful!?

    I hope you are enjoying parenthood 🙂

    Steph x

  3. Caroline Walker January 16, 2012 at 6:00 pm #

    Hi Heather.

    Your episode moved me to sobbing tears. I’m not expecting at the moment but I’m hoping to be in the not too distant future. I’ve always wanted a water birth but my main concern now (which I wonder if you may have advice for) is that my partner is a complete wuss!!! I once went to A&E to have a dislocation in my knee popped back in and HE was the one that passed out!! He’s so squeemish and faints at the slightest sign of blood. He insists that when labour starts he’ll drive me to the hospital and pick up my friend on the way,drop us off and head down the pub and leave us to it!! He’s already refused point blank that if I have to be taken to theatre for whatever reason he’s not going in with me and it will have to be my friend or my mum if she gets there in time. To be honest it worries me greatly as I feel it’s not right for a father to miss the birth of his child if he is more than capable of being there and it also feels like he wouldn’t be supporting me and I’d be somewhat going it alone despite that there would be the midwife and may friend/my mum there too. I think it would be very hurtful for him not to be there. But he’s convinced he’ll be passed out on the floor. At least with an on the bed birth he’d be up by my head and not see anything,but in the water (which is what I’ve always wanted) as soon as baby comes out the water will be full of blood and mess and that’ll be him gone on the floor then!!!

    Any advice?

    Caz
    Cardiff

    • heatherfrancesca January 18, 2012 at 12:42 pm #

      Hi Caroline
      Thanks so much for your message. Yes! Water birth is amazing not only because the water is relaxing but because it reduces a lot of human intervention which helps to keep you calm.
      My husband was a great birth partner, he helped to keep me focused and he knew all my wishes. He felt very protective and although at times he felt helpless, but his support and strength were both invaluable.
      Like your hubby, Danny hates the sight of blood and needles! In fact he was in A&E not long after Eivissa was born because he trapped his finger in a van door. I think he fainted 3 times and was wheeled to x-ray! He survived his injury! Hehe.
      It would be very sad for your partner to miss the birth. It’s such a wonderful moment that I can never re live. See if he is willing to watch my birth, maybe that might encourage him!
      After all is said and done you want to feel relaxed and in the zone. Who ever is with you is important and effects this, hopefully it will be your fella!
      Hope this advice helps and please let me know when your expecting. Its truly the best experience in the world!

      Heather
      Xx

      • Caroline Walker January 18, 2012 at 8:45 pm #

        Hi Heather

        Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me. It sounds like your Danny is a lot like my Bryan. I hope his finger mended itself quite quickly after its meeting with the van door. Hehe poor love!!!

        I’ve tried since series 1 to get Bryan to watch a birth but it always ends the same way…..he pulls a face and makes a break upstairs for the safety of the haven that is his little man cave!!! But he did surprise me tonight when I friend of ours invited us to a party on 18 Feb and Bryan said we would be there but may have to leave suddenly. I asked why and he said that his sister’s due date is 16 Feb so if she’s late she may go into labour while we were at the party and so we would need to leave. I was gobsmacked!!! I said I wouldn’t have thought he’d have wanted to be at the hospital given our recent chats and he came out saying til it happens he won’t know what he wants to do. So I’m hoping it will be a good experience for him and might change his mind when it comes to be our turn. Then again knowing my luck it’ll put him off the idea completely haha!!!

        He’s adamant on not having kids til he’s passed 30 so I have another 2-3 years to wait yet and we aren’t married yet either but being married before kids isn’t as important to me now as it used to be as I think the broodiness has taken over. I’ve had issued in that region of my body since I was 18 and I’m now coming up 27 this year so am scared if I have trouble conceiving I may have left it too late to find ways round it if i don’t get a move on haha!!!

        How’s your little angel doing? How old is she now?

        Caz
        Xxxxx

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