My boy 1 year

20 Jan

Our little man is now just over one year old. He’s so sweet and chilled out, although he does like to be on the move! running around, he loves a little bop to music and carries his little red guitar around the house.

We enjoyed celebrating his 1st birthday by having a joint party with his sisters. all their birthdays are close together so We had one big hippie themed birthday party.

This has been one of the fastest years of my life. Feet haven’t touched the ground and I must say the jump from 2 kids to 3 has been the hardest. We are out numbered and the school run most mornings is an absolute disaster. (If you don’t laugh, you cry) going to the toilet alone is something I could only dream of, but when all three cherubs are giving me squishy hugs. All is worth it.

Venice’s 1 year cake smash

We love our little lad 💙 Venice, named after Venice beach in California. So good to have him here to complete our family.

Having my baby boy broke me down to build me up 

24 Apr

I always wanted 3 children and my husband and I had a grand plan to have our third once the oldest was 5 and the youngest 3 but as ever, the universe had other plans. Our not so fail proof method of contraception obviously didn’t work and I found out I was pregnant in January 2016. The timing was not ideal as we certainly weren’t ready, but life dealt us this blessing and I was determined to enjoy it.

For some strange reason, I felt that this particular baby was going to be a boy. A boy that was going to bring me my final piece of healing, I’ve mentioned in previous posts about my brother passing away when I was 10 and he was 7 in a tragic accident. I have never healed from him being gone and the memories surrounding my sweet brother are still very raw. Having children impacted me so much, more than I could imagine. I was now seeing the loss of my brother through my mum’s eyes and all of a sudden It bacame the loss of a son. It made me desperate for a boy, perhaps part of my healing was getting a piece of my little brother back with a son.

I couldn’t wait to find out what I was having, I booked myself in for a 4D scan at 16 weeks. The night before I felt sick with nerves, when the sonographer told me we were having boy I was so happy, I couldn’t believe it. My family was complete, our new arrival would be with us on September 13th 2016

This pregnancy seemed a lot harder. I was sick, more tired and everything felt like an effort. Towards the end of my pregnancy I was over it, I needed to get this baby out!

I had decided on another home birth, it seemed so strange to even think about going into hospital now as I’d had my second at home. My pool was up, towels ready and his cot was ready to go.

The only thing that wasnt ready was the baby. I found myself a week overdue and all attempts to get baby out had failed. It was midnight 20th September, the day I calculated I would be due. Right at that moment I had my first contraction, they started mild and I timed them to be sure. I woke my husband, got out of bed and walked around the house. I called my mum as I wanted her to be at the birth, we then called the midwife. At that point I felt fine and was just doing normal things and my husband joked that I should try to look a bit more ‘in labour’ as she was on her way. I felt relaxed and was coping well during each contraction. With each one I would say to myself “to the top, to the top and down” as the intensity faded. The midwife arrived and checked me, I was 3cm. I told her my last baby was born an hour and half after this point, so she promptly called the second midwife. We hadn’t filled the pool yet so we needed to get on with that. As the pool filled the hot water ran out. We filled it as much as we could and I got in. The level of the water wasn’t high enough to deliver in, so the final minutes of labour was spent by mum and dad running champagne buckets of hot water from downstairs.
Not long after I got in to water the contractions got really intense and the time between each one was practically nothing.

This was way harder than my last labours, I couldn’t catch my breath, it felt like I’d been induced. I got to a point where I thought this is where people start asking for drugs. I knew I had to get this baby out. I started pushing and for the first time I actually made noise. The contractions were so strong that it made me loose focus of my baby coming. The midwife said we needed the level of the water to be higher for the birth. I could feel baby’s head crowning but my mum was down stairs getting more water so I shouted for her as I didn’t want her to miss it. She ran up, poured the last bucket of water in and with one final push he was here.

My dad came in and was filled with emotion, it was such a special thing to see, but as I sat with him in my arms the emotion that I expected to feel was not there. In fact I felt numb.

who is this baby? Why doesn’t he look like my brother ? Everything seemed surreal and not as I’d imagined. There wasn’t time for me to gather my emotions and process the event and I instantly felt down, I felt disconnected. I had put so much expectation on this moment, the healing I thought it would bring, the joy of a son, the connection between the heavens and the earth were all false. For the first time in a long time my happy spirit was shattered.

20th September 2016, Venice Steven was born, weighing 8.6lb

I tried to create my feelings but i realised that my state of mind wasn’t in a place of positivity. Everyone and everything around me went back to normality but I was left feeling even more broken. I guess to anyone I looked fine on the outside, like I had everything under control but It couldn’t have been further from the truth, I just wanted to run away and the following days were spent in floods of tears, the overwhelming guilt I felt towards my sweet baby boy, he instantly loved me, instantly needed me and I couldn’t give him the true ‘me’.

The weeks went by and my health visitor saw I was struggling and suggested I see the doctor. The Doctor prescribed me anti-depressants and referred me for counselling. I started to feel some hope. I had eventually reached out for some professional help. I realised it wasn’t fair for me to expect the birth of my son to fix the years of ‘bottled up’ grief I had over losing my brother.

After picking up my prescription I decided against the drugs as the thought of any of it going into my breast milk felt like too much of a risk but one particular day was really difficult, i gave in and took one. I couldn’t believe the immediate effect it had on my body, I felt sick, dizzy, tingling in my arms, anxious and I cried uncontrollably. I was shaking so much I couldn’t even hold my baby. I was told to keep taking the pills for 2 weeks before the positive effects would kick in and my body would calm down. There was no way I even thought I would be alive by the end of 2 weeks if It was going to be like this, so I didn’t take another. I had to get better, I didn’t want to carry on like this during what was meant to be the most precious time.
The positive… was feeding him.I breast fed my second daughter till the day before he was born. She seemed quite happy at 3 years old to eventually give up ‘boo boo’ to her new brother. (What a relief) Rolling from one child to the next meant no pain what so ever. It was very easy and was one less thing to worry about.

I have since started seeing a therapist and being open about it with close friends and family has moved me forward towards happiness, I’ve realised that somethings can never be replaced and rather than filling a crack that will reappear the best option is to actually strip it all back and rebuild it properly and any new things that are added to our life needs a place purpose built for it.

I now look at my boy and everything is worth it. The struggles in those early months, as hard as they were, I’m kind of glad I went through it to realise the love I have for my little boy. I’m his mum and he loves me regardless of how I’m feeling, every smile is a reminder of the blessing I’ve been sent and I’m determined to love him with all that I am. I guess in a way he is bringing my healing, just not in the way I thought, maybe I needed to be broken to be built back up again stronger.

Three babies, each one handing me new experiences, new challenges, new reasons to live, a new focus on life, a new reason to be happy and sad all at the same time. Having children wrecks the heart; nothing in the world makes you feel every emotion all at once. There is no miracle like the miracle of becoming a Mother.

We are having a Boy!

6 Sep

Having two girls first is something we always wanted. I was pretty sure we would eventually have three kids and I would happily have had a house full of girls. Having a third was never about wanting a boy, although I did imagine it would be a nice completion to our family and wondered if it would be possible to have a boy next.

After two miscarriages in between my girls a couple of people said to me “maybe you can’t carry boys” I found that quite upsetting, I tried to put that to the back of my mind, But the closer I got to being ready for the next baby the more I realised how much having a baby boy meant to me . 

I finally felt like my body was in perfect condition to conceive and my periods had returned after an 8 year absence. I downloaded an app to track my ovulation cycle and scoured the Internet for tips on how to conceive boys. The plan was in motion, we would wait till late 2016 to ‘officially’ try for a baby. By then, in my mind, I would have mastered the art of creating a boy.

So… As you can imagine finding out we were pregnant a few months later came as a bit of a shock. We weren’t trying to conceive although the doctor informed us we must have been ‘ trying’ as our preferred method of contraception was not the most affective 😜.  

After the initial shock, I was so hopeful for a boy. I know it might sound wrong and that we shouldn’t care what sex our baby is and as long as it’s healthy is the main priority, but having a boy meant so much to me. Mainly for the reason that when I was just 10 years old  I lost my little brother in a tragic accident. I felt that a boy would in some way bring him back to me and give me the healing I have always desired for me and my family. We told our girls mummy was having another baby and my eldest seemed to know it was boy, One day she even commented that Mummy’s Brother was in my tummy which really freaked me out. I knew I couldn’t wait until 20 weeks so I impatiently booked in for an early gender scan. 

The night before the scan, I couldn’t sleep and felt physically sick, I so wanted a boy and the suspense was killing me. As I lay on the bed with The sonographer at one side and hubby and Eivissa on the other, I held my daughters hand so tightly as she reassured me that I was having a boy, how could she know, she’s only 4 years old but she was so confident without any hesitation about what mummy was about to find out. 

The Sonographer turned to me and said “well, it’s going to need its own room” I was crying so much, I’m talking hyperventilating tears by the way,  “It’s a boy” I couldn’t believe it..

My prayers had been answered and I was so thankful and so happy that dreams can come true, our  little family is soon to be completed, in fact it’s only 10 days until the little man is due and we are so excited to meet him and watch him grow and I know for sure that he’s going to bring some healing to me. 

For now, I’m enjoying the last few days as a foursome as I’ve got a feeling that it’s going to be a busy few months ahead.

Still breast feeding my 2 year old

27 Apr

When I started my journey of motherhood, breastfeeding was something I felt very passionately about, and if my body would allow, I wanted to make it to the 6 month mark. The first 4 weeks of getting to grips with breast feeding wasn’t the easiest, but I was determined and we cracked it. When the 6 months was up,  the strangest thing happened, I didn’t want to stop, I felt as though both baby and I wanted to continue. I started to slowly introduce solids using the baby led method and continued to breast feed until 12 months but even then at that age I felt it wasn’t the right time to cut it off completely. I started to research more about continuing to feed past 12 months and found that the world health organisation recommends feeding until two years old, this was all the encouragement I needed to continue. 

We live in a society that trains us to think that it’s not ‘normal’ to feed past a certain age, that perhaps we should be embarrassed by the fact that we are still breast feeding our children after this 6 month marker. It’s a shame that mothers are made to feel this way but ultimately it’s our right as a parent to decide when we should stop. Our first little girl, Eivissa weaned herself off at 18 months and I was so pleased that I was able to breast feed for so long, content that I given her the best I could. It was lovely to see her move on to the next stage at her own pace. 

When my second little girl, Cataleya, came along all books went out of the window. This baby had her own agenda, feeding  randomly and for a few minutes at a time was her style, I went with it, trying to treat her like my first baby was not suiting her at all. She always wanted to be with me and became my little koala, taking her everywhere made her happy, content, it felt so right. I knew feeding her wasn’t just for nourishment, it was for comfort, pain, teething,cuddles and so much more. Before long I was like ,’oh I guess we are co-sleeping, doing attachment parenting then’, I didn’t think I was doing a type of parenting, I was doing me and cataleya and it felt so amazing knowing we were bonding in our own unique way.

So now, 2 years on she is still firmly in love with ‘boo boo’, I’m not entirely sure how I’m going to stop or where to start to stop. I guess that will be a blog post in itself. Putting myself under pressure because of what people think affects my clarity to make the right decisions and that in turn affects the both of us, so for now, I guess I’m content and secure in my inner ‘Mumdar’ and this makes for one happy mamma.

We need to feel free to parent not in a style picked from a book,(although books are useful) but in your own way, to follow the rhythm and pattern that suits mother and baby. So much of what we are told or hear are not necessarily true, it’s often just opinions from people that are misinterpreted as fact. Often cultures and peoples beliefs differ from place to place, where one country sleeps with babies from birth, another put them straight into their own room. One country is 90% home birth and another 99% ceserean . I want to be a family of our own culture, not one that conforms to ways of doing things just because it’s where we live. It’s not one size fits all families. 

Things to do in Ibiza

24 Aug

Our growing family at our favourite lookout point in ibiza 

My husband and I first fell in love with this island back in 2007 when we were visiting some friends that had moved there. Our first thought of going to Ibiza was the clubs, drunk Brits and people dancing on the beach with their arms in the air, don’t get me wrong we have always loved good music, but to be honest when we first came to Ibiza dance music was way down my list of musical genres. But there is something about Ibiza that just converts you! By Sunday even our ‘hard out’ Rock friend was seen dancing to the beats on bora-bora beach. but we were hoping to find more from this Mediterranean island. As we began to explore the island by day I wanted to wake up every club goer to let them know what they were missing,the incredible beaches, fabulous food and breath taking scenery, all set within this amazing vibe and energy the island had. 
The first time we came we did as much exploring as we could with limited transport. As a couple who don’t like to just lay around the pool all day we decided to hire a scooter. Ipod in our ears, house music on, we discovered the island for ourselves. The island is small so beach hopping and getting to see a lot in one day was very doable. It was our second holiday to ibiza we realised that we were only scratching the surface on what Ibiza had to offer. That’s when we knew we had to come back. That everything you could ever want in a holiday was on this perfectly formed white Isle. 


In September 2011 our first child was born and we started planning her first vacation for the following summer, when researching all the resorts throughout Europe nothing seemed to compete with what was on offer on our favourite little island, so it was decided, her first birthday would be celebrated on the white Isle of ibiza. We weren’t sure how family friendly the island would be but we realised that with my Latin roots and the culture and atmosphere that the Spanish seem to adopt, our family would be right at home. The restaurants always welcome children, it’s not like England where you get judged for taking your kids out after 8pm, it’s embraced out there, in fact people are shocked to not see the children running around, enjoying themselves.

  Celebrating Eivissas first birthday

We took her to the world famous cafe Mambo in San Antonio to watch the legendary sunset, we spent a day in the pool at Ocean Beach club, we walked through the streets of the old town, swam in the bluest sea and built sandcastles. We wanted her to see culture, life and fun. To experience everything with us. Ever since that first trip with her, she’s felt like the queen of the island and it’s something that will always be with her. 

enjoying the Ibizan beaches (Cala Tarida, formenterra)

We have been finding new places as a couple and now as family for 7 years and have taken it upon our selves to change the reputation Ibiza has, to expose some of the hidden gems it has to offer. 

Here’s a few of the places we love to visit and our ‘must dos’ when coming to ibiza. 

Before we land we draft up an itinary for our holiday to ensure we make the most of our time 

Selinas beach

Our favorite area to stay is Santa Gertrudis. It’s a quaint little village in the centre of the island, it has a great square with a beautiful little white church, great restaurants, boutique shops, gallery’s and a fabulous little supermarket called Sumo. It has a fantastic bakery next door where we always pop in for our daily essentials. 

It seems as though this village has become a bit of a hot spot with the celebs, there often seen in the cafes or juice bars, in fact we waved Mick Jagger through in his green beetle at a junction one time. 

beach hopping (Sa Caleta,Cala Tarida) 

Ibiza is fantastic for beach hopping . We love to keep changing the scenery, you can find anything from small secluded coves to long sandy beaches. Our favourite beach is Cala Comte on the west coast about 15 minutes from San Antonio, the water here is crystal clear which makes it very popular in high season, it has a brilliant bar with the most amazing views called Ashram Sunset bar, head there and you can listen to some great music and indulge in a spot of people watching. They also have a great  menu and sushi bar. 

Cala Comte 

If you want to find a quieter spot then follow the waters edge to the right and keep going until you get to some steep rocks, wade into the water and follow the rocks round to the hidden cove where you can relax without a soul in sight. 

Sunset in Ibiza is legendary and there’s no better place to experience it than Beniras, it’s situated in the north of the island and the night to head there has to be Sunday. 

Sunset at Beniras 

It’s hard to put into words what this place is about but it’s an eclectic atmosphere full of the worlds most colourful people who join together with their instruments and play to the setting of the sun. It honestly is one of the coolest experiences. Over the last few years the secret has got out and it’s now hugely popular so get there early, parking can be a nightmare and often the road is shut off by the police and buses are used to get everyone down, however you can avoid this if you take the road to San Miguel port and take the coastal road that’s not on the map and it takes you right there avoiding the traffic and the road blocks. 

If this seems a little to much for you then you can always try sunset at the world famous cafe mambo that’s right in the heart of San Antonio. You can book a table on the terrace and have some drinks or just watch from the beach whilst enjoying the music, often some of the worlds best Djs play some laid back tunes straight after sunset so be sure to stick around, we did one year and David Guetta got on the decks! Either way it’s still one of our favourite places to go for sunset with an amazing atmosphere.

Sunset at Cafe Mambo

When it comes to cuisine the food speaks for itself. The Island has some amazing produce and of course the best seafood which makes for a perfect Spanish meal.

The best seafood has to be a place called El Bigotes which is on the east of the island in a tiny little bay called Cala Moli, We were told to go there by a local but warned of its popularity, apparently the King of Spain was turned away for not having a reservation! It has two sittings, 12 o’clock  which serves grilled fish that was caught that morning then followed by a 2pm service that serves a traditional fish stew cooked over an open fire called bouile de peix, all I can say is wow, wash it down with a bottle of local wine, watch the fish swimming below your feet and soak up the incredible view from this great little place right on the waters edge. 

Outside El Bigotes 

If seafood isn’t your thing then head to the famous San Juan road and you’ll find an abundance of restaurants, but by far the best on this stretch of road is a place called Balafia, it’s right by the junction to Labrijita and set back off the road, keep your eyes peeled because it’s easy to miss. we’ve been coming here for years and it still delivers every time. The restaurant is family run and set amongst a canopy of orange and lemon trees making your dining experience extra special. The place is always bustling with life, families, couples, locals and some serious foodies. The menu is simple, it’s a BBQ that consists of five items, Tbone, entrecôte, rabbit, pork and lamb chops, these are accompanied with a fresh tomato and onion salad and sliced fried potato all from the garden. There’s no clever sides or fancy sauces, this place does meat and does it better than anywhere ive ever been. You must book in advance and I recommend eating late as the atmosphere really gets going around 11pm. 


Family evenings 

If we’ve managed dinner before 10pm one of most enjoyable things to do after we have eaten is go to Ibiza old town and walk around the cobbled streets. At night It’s so beautiful you almost feel your in Italy. It’s awash with life, small boutiques, tapas bars, and gelaterias. Before we cross the draw bridge into the town walls we stop by at the Marina to look at the super yachts that have docked. We like to pick which one we would buy if we happened to win the euro millions! 


Ibiza old town (Eivissa)

For A couple of years we have stayed in San Miguel which is in the north of the island. It’s close to some of our recommended places and there are some great family friendly hotels there. The girls really enjoyed playing in the pool before we set off for the day. 
The pool at San Miguel .   

For Breakfast, there’s so much to choose from, head to Santa Gertrudis and sit in one of the many cafes in the main square or if you want some serious good organic food then head to Can Guimo on the San Juan road, it’s owned by an Argentinian and his Brazilian wife who use their Latin roots mixed with Spanish classics to create some really good breakfast. Try the Brazilian cheese balls or the eggs with eggplant is divine. Wash it down with an Acai berry juice, packed full of nutrients or grab one of there gluten free brownies that our eldest daughter is obsessed with. 

If you want the best coffee, then head about a mile down the road until you reach an old industrial estate on the left. Head around the back and you will be shocked by what you find. Meke coffee is a tiny little roastary with a lovely little seating area that’s fast becoming the place to go to for the best coffee on the island, it’s run by some kiwis who know coffee and roast all the beans on sight. They do a fabulous brunch on Wednesdays which is well worth a visit. 

Can Guimo and coffee at Meke

For an alternative breakfast experience then start the day at SLUIZ, about 1km South of Santa Gertrudis. When you step inside this place you will feel like your having a weird dream. It’s mainly a furniture and clothes store but if you make your way through the giant neon alligators in the foyer and pass the graffiti filled kids play area you will come to a very unique cafe bar. The breakfast menu is typical of ibiza, fresh juices, hot croissants and great stuff for the kids. Sit back in the open terrace and take in this place whilst the kids play on the rope swing or graffiti on the chalk painted smart car. This weird and wonderful place has to be visited.    Kids area at Sluiz

The best thing to do in ibiza is explore, often we’d set off in the morning with no destination in mind but our aim was to find something new, It was one of those days that we discovered Raco, we followed this cool hip couple that were covered in tattoos that passed us on their Harley, we followed them up tiny narrow roads until we came to some big electric gates with an eagle on top. After several minutes of persuading the proprietor that we weren’t typical tourist we were allowed in (Staying underground in ibiza is cool) What we found was the coolest place, hammocks in trees, cabana beds, caravans that doubled up as cocktail bars and an amazing pool surrounded by an incredible rustic villa. We spent the whole day here sipping sangria, enjoying the pool and soaking up the island life.


Ibiza is surrounded by beautiful clear waters but to see the best then head to Formentera, a small island about an hours sail. You can get a ferry from the port in Ibiza town or the best method would be to hire a private boat so you can explore the hidden coves and secluded beaches. We used a great company called ‘once upon a boat’ who supplied us with a 60ft sail boat that was so romantic and spacious. There was a cabin below deck with shower room and toilet and plenty of room up top to sunbathe or sit under the shade and enjoy the sights. The crew can provide your food and drink for you at an extra cost or if you’d prefer to bring your own then your welcome to do so. The kids are provided with life jackets and once docked at your choice of deserted beaches your free(if your brave enough) to dive off the plank or hop aboard the little motorised dingy that will take you to shore so you can explore this gem of an island. This is a truly remarkable experience that we as a family would highly recommend. 

Our boat to Formentera (hired from Once upon a boat)  

If you want to experience the sound of the island during the days then there’s several places to choose from. Beach clubs are becoming increasingly popular and none more so than the world famous Blue Marlin situated in the south in a rocky bay called Cala Jondal. We like to take the girls here early in the afternoon as it can get a bit manic after 4pm, the staff are very friendly and the food and drinks are great albeit a tad expensive. You can rent a bed for the day or just sit and people watch, your guaranteed to spot a few familiar faces, we saw Jay Z and Beyoncé there last year.(I stayed really cool, Haha!) If you fancy a dip in the sea then just head down to the little jetty or if you want a really good paella head to the restaurant next door. Be warned though, this place can seriously dent your wallet!

Blue Marlin

Another fantastic place for a great family day is Pikes just outside San Antonio. Freddie Mercury had his famous 40th birthday party there and it’s been frequented by some of the worlds coolest musicians ever since, it’s owned by an Australian called Tony Pike who built the whole place and turned it into what now is an institution on Ibiza. Everything is bold, bright and quirky, it has a pool with poolside bar, terrace restaurant and another Al fresco style dining area, day beds are spread through out the venue and there’s several great areas for the kids to play. On a Sunday it’s the family day where they serve a special Sunday roast and there is entertainment for the family, you can use the pool while sipping on a cocktail, have a game of tennis or simply just lounge about the place.

 Pikes hotel

If you fancy something different then there’s a great place called hidden bar in Cala St Vincent right at the North east of the island. The beach here is great and mainly frequented by Spanish families and about 100mtrs from the beach is this hipster bar set between fairy lit trees and  the most bizarre version of mini golf meandering through the whole place. The cocktail bar right at the centre serves some of the best on the island whilst the kitchen offers some decent grub too. This is a great place for families and cool place to relax and have fun alternatively if you want some more substantial food then head back to the beach, turn left and walk 50mtrs til you reach can gaat. Hands down some of the best paella. 

Hidden bar 

There is so much more I could recommend but these are the places that are top of our list for now. Ibiza will always keep surprising us. A place that is for everyone, so if your thinking ibiza is not for kids, then don’t, everything on this list is not adult only, it’s all about families, all the places recommended we’ve done it with our two children in tow and they’ve loved every second of it. Spanish culture is family orientated and we need to embrace it, we often meet so many like minded people with the same values and same way of thinking on this island which is great when our children come together. Kids are never a second thought, there involved and included in everything we do, just as the Spanish do with there children which makes for a great family holiday where all of us make happy fond memories. 

Cataleya at 7 months

4 Jun

Time has just flown by and our second little princess is already 7 months. I am bursting at the seems with love for her. Her character is already showing and I can tell she is going to have a good sense of humor. She is always giggling, especially at her older sister.


She’s crawling around and cruising furniture. Every time I turn my head she is stood against something new. I am going to be doing a lot of running around in the next few months.

Just so in love with her little face. Her blues eyes and her little determined tongue that sticks out every time she tries to do something.



Like her big sister she comes everywhere with us. We even took her to the movies to see Anchorman (Which she slept through, I might add!)



I think the most surprising thing, which should be so obvious is how different the girls are. I don’t know why we expect all babies to be the same. It reconfirms to me that what works for one baby won’t necessarily work for another. A lot of things are trial and error.

Cataleya feeds completely different to her sister did. Instead of stressing, I adapted the routine I used for Eivissa to suit her. Within one day, the baby that was crying non stop from 7pm till midnight was a dream, I was amazed. Babies are all different, just like adults their wants are different from one another. These past 7 months I have been getting to know my new baby, It’s been so enjoyable and I feel much more confident in my abilities as a mother, I stopped giving myself a hard time or worrying if I’m doing things right, I have just simply delighted in being a mum.


I feel totally blessed to have two beautiful daughters. I thank God every day.

Celebrating her 6 month birthday with her first taste of food.

Happy Mother’s Day, fellow mummies

13 Mar

I still have to get my head around the fact that I’m now a mum, when you are younger you think about the day you’ll become a mum but it feels so far in the distance and when I eventually entered the world of motherhood it felt very surreal. So when Mother’s Day comes around I have to remind myself it isn’t just about my mum anymore, it’s now about about me too. With our eldest little girl still only 2, it’s over to hubby to help her out and make it a special day. He always does a fantastic job of making me feel spoilt, from breakfast in bed, chocolates and of course a little bit of retail therapy.

This year I will be enjoying Mother’s Day with 2 beautiful daughters which is such an amazing feeling. I feel so blessed to now have these treasures in my life. I appreciate every moment of being a mum and I never knew it would bring me so much happiness and completion. Being a mum gives me more drive to go for my dreams, knowing that I’m not only living for my own but helping that of my children’s.

If I think about what being a mum means to me, then I think of it as the most important job in the world. Us mums are shaping the future generation, we are teaching morals and behaviour to someone’s future husband or wife, we are maybe helping the future prime minister with their home work. So next time someone says what do you do? the response shouldn’t be “I’m just a stay a at home mum”, rather say, “I’m a investor in the future,” I think they will be way more impressed.

So as I sit and ponder what Mother’s Day should really mean I have decided it should be more than just a pamper day, more than just a day when we can drink a cup of tea that hasn’t been microwaved to death. It should be a day to celebrate the others mums we do life with, to lift up every mother in our world and say you are doing amazing and you should be proud of yourselves.
All mums question at some point if they are doing a good job and the answer is yes, yes you are doing a good job, ok, we may get things wrong, we may not have mastered the art of dismantling the push chair but who cares, just because were not a professional nappy changer doesn’t mean we’re not a good nappy changer. We need to remember that there is no other person in the world that can give that child the love of a mother.

Enjoying family life and being a mummy to two beautiful girls.

I want to dedicate this blog post to a few amazing mummies I know.
My mum, wow, you amaze me every day. You are my best friend. I love to sit and be with you, to chat with you and of course to shop with you. You have helped me be the mum I am to my daughters, who absolutely adore you. Thank you for bringing me up the best way you knew how, for giving me my morals, for teaching me to think of others and for protecting me through the hard times. I love you and you are the most fabulous and beautiful mummy in the world. Here’s to more excitement and adventure!

Me and my Mum

My mummy friends, you’re incredible, I have enjoyed every second of this journey into motherhood with you. I love how you see the good in every day even when it’s not been such a good one. I am astounded at your strength through tough times. The heartache of giving birth to a premature baby, the sadness of miscarriage, the sorrow of being a mum with out your mummy with you, the fight to conceive or the struggle of parenting alone. These times have opened your eyes to see how amazing the gift of being a mum is and how wonderful the rewards are. All we have to do is look at their little faces.
You are an inspiration. Thank you for the play dates, giggles, coffee and tonnes of cake! Most of all thank you for being you.

Love you girls.

To every mother, Happy Mother’s Day! Why not treat one of your mum friends this Mother’s Day.

If you are looking for a great way to enjoy your Mother’s Day. Victoria Quarter in Leeds city Center is a great place for shopping and coffee, perfect for treating your mum, fellow mummy or yourself. Their website has some great gift ideas Mother’s Day gifts at Victoria Quarter

Go to the Victoria Quarter Facebook page for details of their Mother’s Day competion Mums the word with a chance to win the following
Afternoon tea for two at Harvey Nichols
Earrings from Azendi
Brunch for two at Filmore & Union
A scented candle from The White Company
A pair of ballet shots from Frencg Sole
A signature facial from Liz Earle>

A Baby and A Toddler

4 Feb


When your pregnant, your so preoccupied by the birth and the safe arrival of your little one, that you can sometimes forget everything else around you. Once Cataleya was born and the dust had settled, I had this moment, a kind of aaaagghh moment, suddenly, I was a mother of two and life was about to get crazy for a while whilst we adjusted to the new wants and needs of our growing family.

As soon as Cataleya was born, the joys of being self employed took its toll as Danny had to get straight back to work the following day leaving me to fathom out how all this works. Fortunately I had my family, but ultimately it’s down to me to provide the essentials for my new daughter and her big sister.

Couldn’t have done those first few weeks without my family

At first, I was still in the elated state, beaming from ear to ear thinking I was the most special girl in the world, little did I know how much adjustment my body and I would have to make in order to make the next few weeks as easy as possible.

Mornings with baby

The first thing to get to grips with was feeding, even though I had breast fed Eivissa for 18 months, it’s like going back to square one the second time around. Thankfully, I remembered the tips and techniques and was able to get Cataleya latched on pretty quickly, but still your body has to get used to this and I’d forgotten how much babies eat. The first few days I felt like a human cow, being milked at every possible second but I was safe in the knowledge that I was creating a bond and giving my baby the best start to their life.

The moment I fell in love all over again

I love the mother-daughter relationship and I knew how important establishing a special and lifelong bond with my daughter is.
Those precious first few weeks with your newborn baby are an incredible time for any mum and dad.
I personally, felt an instantaneous intense attachment after the birth of Cataleya, which was a welcome relief as id often wondered if I could love another baby as much as I loved Eivissa, but it seems you can. Bonding has to develop, and I did every trick in the book to make sure our bond was a special, lasting one. Breast feeding gave me that instant bond, knowing that im responsible for the growth and nutrients that she receives. I also make sure that we have as much skin to skin contact as possible and take every opportunity to look and play with her. Babies do tend to bond with their primary care givers, so care and interaction with my baby was and still is incredibly important. All this is easier said than done as any mother with a 2 year old will know. Whilst we are trying our best to have our special bonding moments the eldest wants to jump on your back at any given opportunity and demand instant play time


I knew I had to adapt, to make sure both my girls are getting the love and attention they need.
My girls are my world and its my job as a mother to make sure that they have everything they need to help them once they grow into themselves. The most important thing I can give them is love, it’s so simple, they don’t want gifts, the latest toy, the new dolls, although all these things are great and trust me, my girls have all of them, it’s not what defines them. The love, the care, and the quality time I give my girls is what really makes them who they are and even though my time was now split between the two, I always make sure I have time dedicated to both of them.


A newborn will occupy a lot of your time and naturally the older sibling can feel some kind of loneliness but this was never an option for us. Eivissa was still going to have the love and attention she needs and this was done by making her a part of her new sisters life, when changing Cataleya’s nappy, I get her involved, when feeding, I explain what I am doing. My method was to be inclusive not exclusive, making her feel special and included made her feel more loved than ever before.
We wanted to create an environment where by Eivissa could create her own bond with her new sister and encouraging her to show affection and take part in things has resulted in such a special bond between them.

20140204-160325.jpgEivissa reading her little sister the bible before bed

Getting into a routine was the tricky part, trying to juggle all the plates and responsibilities of motherhood whilst creating structure was difficult at first. It took me a while to understand that all babies are different, I know this sounds obvious, but in a way I just presumed that her habits would be the same as her sisters, I found out soon enough that she had her own agenda.
I was doing the same as what I had done before and it wasn’t working, Eivissa used to feed for 30-40 mins each time and used to sleep solid in between for a few hours, I was trying to apply this to Cataleya but I didn’t seem to work for her, I then went back to the drawing board and tailored a routine to what she wants, not necessarily what I knew. This involved more frequent feeds for less time with small naps in between. She is now a very happy, content baby.
We put too much pressure on ‘routine’ and experience has taught me to be adaptable, to listen, to take note of our babies and as they grow and change, so should our habits. There is no ‘one size fits all’ routine, they are there to be customised to fit each child and each family.

Tummy time. Enjoying seeing my baby girl grow and her character develop


In amongst all this, I still had to recover, after all, I had just given birth and this is a hard process that requires rest in order to recharge, I think every mother would agree, that our needs are surpassed by our children’s needs and I wouldn’t change this for the world, I think the happiness that I gave my children in those first few weeks helped me heal, after all, a happy heart helps heal the mind and body.

So, after mastering the first few days, I soon discovered more obstacles I had to face, and the next one was somewhat, lets say, tricky.
I was braving my first day out and as Danny had the car I thought I’d take a taxi. Little did I know the difficulty that getting myself along with my two girls into a car, which should be the simplest thing in the world turn out to be the most stressful.
The taxi arrived and I just couldn’t work out what to do first, do I put my children in the car first, then go back for both pushchairs, all my bags, all their bags. Do I put the bags in first, leaving the girls in the house, I just couldn’t work out what the safest thing to do would be, how can this be so difficult. In the end, it was stuff first and children last, the whole process must have taken 15 minutes. The lesson I learnt from this, no matter how prepared you are, leaving the house will never be a simple task ever again.

It’s so important to have the support of your spouse in these early days,

I’m thankful that our wants as parents are aligned and we are singing off the same hymn sheet. The love we give our children should be the same love we give one another, we are our children’s roll models and we want to make sure that our relationship is happy and healthy so that our children grow up knowing what a good marriage is. It’s so easy to forget one another and put all the love into the children, but remember to keep some love back for each other.
Every night in those first few weeks, we would sit down on an evening over a cup of coffee and reflect and be thankful for the lives we have created. We would talk and laugh and be husband and wife, not just mum and dad.


The first few weeks flew by and as another day passed I slowly started to feel at ease and confident in my own abilities. Every parent wants to be the best they can be and the truth is we all fall short, it’s human nature, none of us are perfect after all. But the thing that makes me go to bed with a smile on my face, is knowing that I’m trying the hardest I can and that is recipe for success.

From the moment Cataleya was born she became part of everything we did, to make the most of every moment and have fun!

Fashion show Cataleya 4 days old!

We’re so grateful for our little family and feel blessed to be parents. Seeing the girls flourish as a result of our work is so rewarding, probably the most satisfying thing we’ve ever done.
the love eivissa has for her little sister is precious, she dotes on her and knowing that these little angels are growing up to love each other and loving us really makes everything worth while. I encourage all parents out there to remember how important our roll is and how the little things really can make a difference to our children’s lives.

I love being a mum of two and I am so excited to see the friendship between my girls grow as they get older.
We are truly blessed and have loved every second of becoming parents again. I’m broody already!

My home waterbirth story and video

13 Nov

To say I was excited about the arrival of our second child was an understatement. We had been given a due date of the 17th October and as this day came and went I started to get frustrated, aargh, I thought to myself, she’s supposed to be on time, after all my first little girl was born on her due date, so I’ve never had to wait for a baby before! I started to think that my dates were wrong and as I flicked through my maternity notes I remembered I had originally been given a due date of the 23rd October, maybe the 17th was wrong after all? Relaxed and confident that she would come when she was ready, I found myself been chilled and calm about the whole affair.

I had been experiencing some very mild start/stop contractions for a few days leading up to my birth and on the 17th I was booked in to see my midwife, Liz. Once there, she suggested I have a sweep to see if she could help get things moving, whilst examining me, I was informed I was dilated by 2 cm. I went home and continued to have these mild contractions for the next 2 nights, each time waking up with butterflies thinking ‘this is it’ however 10 minutes later, I would fall back asleep and wake up still pregnant, another false alarm I thought.

20131113-181858.jpg me and Eivissa at a midwife appointment

Then on monday 21st at 6.30am, I woke up with a sense of urgency that today was the day, I woke Danny and told him that I was having what I thought were contractions, they were very mild and not painful, we quickly got the stop watch out and started timing, every 4 minutes they were happening and this continued for a couple of hours. We’d already decided on a home waterbirth and the pool was all set up at the foot of our bed ready to be filled with water. Danny leapt into action and grabbed his hose and attached it to the taps and started to fill the birth pool. Mum and Dad arrived at 8.30 to take our other daughter, Eivissa, leaving Danny and I alone.
With the pool half full, I noticed my contractions slowed down to 10 minutes apart and then down to 20 minutes apart, I was convinced that this was it, perhaps, I was too relaxed so we decided to head to the supermarket to see if a bit of activity might help. As soon as we got there at 12.15 pm I was hit by a big contraction that made me stop in my tracks. I knew something was happening and whilst Danny hurried round the shop I found myself on the crisp isle having contractions every few minutes, I’m not having my baby in between the quavers and watsits I thought so I grabbed Danny and off home we went. On the way home I called the midwife and told her what was going on but I could tell by the tone in her voice that she wasn’t convinced I was in labour, after all, who goes shopping whilst in labour? The protocol when you advise the midwife of your labour is that they come out to assess you to see where your at, I think she thought she would be leaving after checking me over as to look at me, you wouldn’t think I was about to give birth. After a very quick examination it was found I was dilated by 3cm, she decided to stick around for a couple of contractions.

It was my time now, I had been planning this birth for a long time and I knew I had to get into my zone, I had been preparing my mind and body to do what I believed it could do, my music was on, candles were lit and I felt very relaxed in both mind and body. After 3 contractions my waters broke, this was at 1.30pm, the midwife took her coat off and announced she was staying.
Danny got the pool to the correct temperature and I put my birthing outfit on I as soon as I got in I felt so comfy, the sun was shining in through the windows and Danny was holding me closely, I felt so in control, my surroundings were perfect and the sound of the gentle music and smell of the scented candles took me into an almost subconscious relaxed state. I didn’t know how long it would take to get to 10cm, all I knew is that the contractions were becoming more frequent and more intense as the minutes went by.

Even though the midwife was in the room, I felt completely alone with Danny, he was in tune with my wants and needs and everything that I wanted from this birth I knew he wanted for me too, if two people are pulling in the same direction then momentum will form and it becomes harder to penetrate. The midwife just sat back observing everything, her relaxed state gave me confidence everything was going well. After an hour or so I felt a huge amount of pressure in my bottom and I felt like I wanted to push, the midwife called for a second midwife as I think we all knew this baby was coming very soon.

20131113-153825.jpgglabour birthing outfit

Three strong contractions came and with one big push I felt her head come out, I maintained my focus and listened to what my body was telling me, with one more push, my beautiful little angel arrived into our world, guided out by our amazing midwife and at 2.50pm our little girl, Cataleya Lilliana Greig weighing 7lb 7oz was finally here. I couldn’t believe it, everything that we had hoped and prayed for was finally here.

Cataleya Lilianna Greig

I felt no pain at all as she came out, she went behind me so I couldn’t see her, the midwife guided her out, baby and I both got a bit tangled in the cord and I imagine it was quite a picture watching us untangle ourselves.
We had reached the ultimate climate of mankind and we were so overwhelmed by the love that this precious life had brought us that all we could do was cry tears of joy, there isn’t a word that’s been invented for the amount of love we had for our beautiful, beautiful baby girl.


My Beautiful girl

The moments after were so special, I just sat there in the pool with Danny’s arms cradling baby and I, our little girl was just nestling on my chest taking in her new surroundings. I waited for the cord to finish pulsating then Danny cut the chord and I transferred myself to the bed to deliver the placenta. I opted to deliver the placenta naturally and with a few tightening feelings in my stomach, it was all out.
Straight away she started to feed off my milk and she latched on very easily which was a lovely feeling as I love breastfeeding.
The midwife then gave me a quick check and cleaned up the bed and I was all set, I didn’t need any stitches which was a welcome relief and we were just left alone to enjoy our new addition.

I remember sitting there, completely in awe of my body and thankful for my experience, I truly believe that all the preparation that Danny and I had done over the last few years, praying, believing and being in complete faith for this experience is testament that it can be. If you apply your mind to anything then it can be achieved, too many people try and scare you with the horror stories and I’m living proof that it doesn’t have to be that way, I’m not special, Nor am I better than anyone else, I don’t have the magic formula and I can’t say that if you follow what I did then you will have the same results, all I can say is, why not give it a shot, hey, who knows maybe we can change what the worlds view of childbirth has become.

20131113-161112.jpgEivissa with Cataleya

If you are considering a home birth then I highly recommend it, I was sent the ‘pool in a box’ by a company called ‘my good birth’ and I found it to be better than expected, the kit comes with everything you need and helped make my birth a great experience.


Announcing the birth of Cataleya

21 Oct

Our Beautiful miracle, Cataleya Lilianna was born at 2.50 on 21st October 2013 by home water birth.


Her name is Colombia’s national flower and means beauty, strength and love and we Love her so much!