Happy Mother’s Day, fellow mummies

13 Mar

I still have to get my head around the fact that I’m now a mum, when you are younger you think about the day you’ll become a mum but it feels so far in the distance and when I eventually entered the world of motherhood it felt very surreal. So when Mother’s Day comes around I have to remind myself it isn’t just about my mum anymore, it’s now about about me too. With our eldest little girl still only 2, it’s over to hubby to help her out and make it a special day. He always does a fantastic job of making me feel spoilt, from breakfast in bed, chocolates and of course a little bit of retail therapy.

This year I will be enjoying Mother’s Day with 2 beautiful daughters which is such an amazing feeling. I feel so blessed to now have these treasures in my life. I appreciate every moment of being a mum and I never knew it would bring me so much happiness and completion. Being a mum gives me more drive to go for my dreams, knowing that I’m not only living for my own but helping that of my children’s.

If I think about what being a mum means to me, then I think of it as the most important job in the world. Us mums are shaping the future generation, we are teaching morals and behaviour to someone’s future husband or wife, we are maybe helping the future prime minister with their home work. So next time someone says what do you do? the response shouldn’t be “I’m just a stay a at home mum”, rather say, “I’m a investor in the future,” I think they will be way more impressed.

So as I sit and ponder what Mother’s Day should really mean I have decided it should be more than just a pamper day, more than just a day when we can drink a cup of tea that hasn’t been microwaved to death. It should be a day to celebrate the others mums we do life with, to lift up every mother in our world and say you are doing amazing and you should be proud of yourselves.
All mums question at some point if they are doing a good job and the answer is yes, yes you are doing a good job, ok, we may get things wrong, we may not have mastered the art of dismantling the push chair but who cares, just because were not a professional nappy changer doesn’t mean we’re not a good nappy changer. We need to remember that there is no other person in the world that can give that child the love of a mother.

20140319-160952.jpg
Enjoying family life and being a mummy to two beautiful girls.

I want to dedicate this blog post to a few amazing mummies I know.
My mum, wow, you amaze me every day. You are my best friend. I love to sit and be with you, to chat with you and of course to shop with you. You have helped me be the mum I am to my daughters, who absolutely adore you. Thank you for bringing me up the best way you knew how, for giving me my morals, for teaching me to think of others and for protecting me through the hard times. I love you and you are the most fabulous and beautiful mummy in the world. Here’s to more excitement and adventure!

20140324-090305.jpg
Me and my Mum

My mummy friends, you’re incredible, I have enjoyed every second of this journey into motherhood with you. I love how you see the good in every day even when it’s not been such a good one. I am astounded at your strength through tough times. The heartache of giving birth to a premature baby, the sadness of miscarriage, the sorrow of being a mum with out your mummy with you, the fight to conceive or the struggle of parenting alone. These times have opened your eyes to see how amazing the gift of being a mum is and how wonderful the rewards are. All we have to do is look at their little faces.
You are an inspiration. Thank you for the play dates, giggles, coffee and tonnes of cake! Most of all thank you for being you.

20140319-154556.jpg
Love you girls.

To every mother, Happy Mother’s Day! Why not treat one of your mum friends this Mother’s Day.

If you are looking for a great way to enjoy your Mother’s Day. Victoria Quarter in Leeds city Center is a great place for shopping and coffee, perfect for treating your mum, fellow mummy or yourself. Their website has some great gift ideas Mother’s Day gifts at Victoria Quarter

Go to the Victoria Quarter Facebook page for details of their Mother’s Day competion Mums the word with a chance to win the following
Afternoon tea for two at Harvey Nichols
Earrings from Azendi
Brunch for two at Filmore & Union
A scented candle from The White Company
A pair of ballet shots from Frencg Sole
A signature facial from Liz Earle>

A Baby and A Toddler

4 Feb

20140204-162633.jpg

When your pregnant, your so preoccupied by the birth and the safe arrival of your little one, that you can sometimes forget everything else around you. Once Cataleya was born and the dust had settled, I had this moment, a kind of aaaagghh moment, suddenly, I was a mother of two and life was about to get crazy for a while whilst we adjusted to the new wants and needs of our growing family.

As soon as Cataleya was born, the joys of being self employed took its toll as Danny had to get straight back to work the following day leaving me to fathom out how all this works. Fortunately I had my family, but ultimately it’s down to me to provide the essentials for my new daughter and her big sister.

20140204-163357.jpg
Couldn’t have done those first few weeks without my family

At first, I was still in the elated state, beaming from ear to ear thinking I was the most special girl in the world, little did I know how much adjustment my body and I would have to make in order to make the next few weeks as easy as possible.

20140204-204837.jpg
Mornings with baby

The first thing to get to grips with was feeding, even though I had breast fed Eivissa for 18 months, it’s like going back to square one the second time around. Thankfully, I remembered the tips and techniques and was able to get Cataleya latched on pretty quickly, but still your body has to get used to this and I’d forgotten how much babies eat. The first few days I felt like a human cow, being milked at every possible second but I was safe in the knowledge that I was creating a bond and giving my baby the best start to their life.

20140204-205409.jpg
The moment I fell in love all over again

I love the mother-daughter relationship and I knew how important establishing a special and lifelong bond with my daughter is.
Those precious first few weeks with your newborn baby are an incredible time for any mum and dad.
I personally, felt an instantaneous intense attachment after the birth of Cataleya, which was a welcome relief as id often wondered if I could love another baby as much as I loved Eivissa, but it seems you can. Bonding has to develop, and I did every trick in the book to make sure our bond was a special, lasting one. Breast feeding gave me that instant bond, knowing that im responsible for the growth and nutrients that she receives. I also make sure that we have as much skin to skin contact as possible and take every opportunity to look and play with her. Babies do tend to bond with their primary care givers, so care and interaction with my baby was and still is incredibly important. All this is easier said than done as any mother with a 2 year old will know. Whilst we are trying our best to have our special bonding moments the eldest wants to jump on your back at any given opportunity and demand instant play time

20140204-163506.jpg

I knew I had to adapt, to make sure both my girls are getting the love and attention they need.
My girls are my world and its my job as a mother to make sure that they have everything they need to help them once they grow into themselves. The most important thing I can give them is love, it’s so simple, they don’t want gifts, the latest toy, the new dolls, although all these things are great and trust me, my girls have all of them, it’s not what defines them. The love, the care, and the quality time I give my girls is what really makes them who they are and even though my time was now split between the two, I always make sure I have time dedicated to both of them.

20140204-162214.jpg

A newborn will occupy a lot of your time and naturally the older sibling can feel some kind of loneliness but this was never an option for us. Eivissa was still going to have the love and attention she needs and this was done by making her a part of her new sisters life, when changing Cataleya’s nappy, I get her involved, when feeding, I explain what I am doing. My method was to be inclusive not exclusive, making her feel special and included made her feel more loved than ever before.
We wanted to create an environment where by Eivissa could create her own bond with her new sister and encouraging her to show affection and take part in things has resulted in such a special bond between them.

20140204-160325.jpgEivissa reading her little sister the bible before bed

Getting into a routine was the tricky part, trying to juggle all the plates and responsibilities of motherhood whilst creating structure was difficult at first. It took me a while to understand that all babies are different, I know this sounds obvious, but in a way I just presumed that her habits would be the same as her sisters, I found out soon enough that she had her own agenda.
I was doing the same as what I had done before and it wasn’t working, Eivissa used to feed for 30-40 mins each time and used to sleep solid in between for a few hours, I was trying to apply this to Cataleya but I didn’t seem to work for her, I then went back to the drawing board and tailored a routine to what she wants, not necessarily what I knew. This involved more frequent feeds for less time with small naps in between. She is now a very happy, content baby.
We put too much pressure on ‘routine’ and experience has taught me to be adaptable, to listen, to take note of our babies and as they grow and change, so should our habits. There is no ‘one size fits all’ routine, they are there to be customised to fit each child and each family.

20140204-162809.jpg
Tummy time. Enjoying seeing my baby girl grow and her character develop

20140204-164755.jpg

In amongst all this, I still had to recover, after all, I had just given birth and this is a hard process that requires rest in order to recharge, I think every mother would agree, that our needs are surpassed by our children’s needs and I wouldn’t change this for the world, I think the happiness that I gave my children in those first few weeks helped me heal, after all, a happy heart helps heal the mind and body.

So, after mastering the first few days, I soon discovered more obstacles I had to face, and the next one was somewhat, lets say, tricky.
I was braving my first day out and as Danny had the car I thought I’d take a taxi. Little did I know the difficulty that getting myself along with my two girls into a car, which should be the simplest thing in the world turn out to be the most stressful.
The taxi arrived and I just couldn’t work out what to do first, do I put my children in the car first, then go back for both pushchairs, all my bags, all their bags. Do I put the bags in first, leaving the girls in the house, I just couldn’t work out what the safest thing to do would be, how can this be so difficult. In the end, it was stuff first and children last, the whole process must have taken 15 minutes. The lesson I learnt from this, no matter how prepared you are, leaving the house will never be a simple task ever again.

It’s so important to have the support of your spouse in these early days,

20140204-165040.jpg
I’m thankful that our wants as parents are aligned and we are singing off the same hymn sheet. The love we give our children should be the same love we give one another, we are our children’s roll models and we want to make sure that our relationship is happy and healthy so that our children grow up knowing what a good marriage is. It’s so easy to forget one another and put all the love into the children, but remember to keep some love back for each other.
Every night in those first few weeks, we would sit down on an evening over a cup of coffee and reflect and be thankful for the lives we have created. We would talk and laugh and be husband and wife, not just mum and dad.

20140204-165412.jpg

The first few weeks flew by and as another day passed I slowly started to feel at ease and confident in my own abilities. Every parent wants to be the best they can be and the truth is we all fall short, it’s human nature, none of us are perfect after all. But the thing that makes me go to bed with a smile on my face, is knowing that I’m trying the hardest I can and that is recipe for success.

20140204-163805.jpg
From the moment Cataleya was born she became part of everything we did, to make the most of every moment and have fun!

20140204-164419.jpg
Fashion show Cataleya 4 days old!

We’re so grateful for our little family and feel blessed to be parents. Seeing the girls flourish as a result of our work is so rewarding, probably the most satisfying thing we’ve ever done.
the love eivissa has for her little sister is precious, she dotes on her and knowing that these little angels are growing up to love each other and loving us really makes everything worth while. I encourage all parents out there to remember how important our roll is and how the little things really can make a difference to our children’s lives.

20140204-171316.jpg
I love being a mum of two and I am so excited to see the friendship between my girls grow as they get older.
We are truly blessed and have loved every second of becoming parents again. I’m broody already!

My home waterbirth story and video

13 Nov

To say I was excited about the arrival of our second child was an understatement. We had been given a due date of the 17th October and as this day came and went I started to get frustrated, aargh, I thought to myself, she’s supposed to be on time, after all my first little girl was born on her due date, so I’ve never had to wait for a baby before! I started to think that my dates were wrong and as I flicked through my maternity notes I remembered I had originally been given a due date of the 23rd October, maybe the 17th was wrong after all? Relaxed and confident that she would come when she was ready, I found myself been chilled and calm about the whole affair.

I had been experiencing some very mild start/stop contractions for a few days leading up to my birth and on the 17th I was booked in to see my midwife, Liz. Once there, she suggested I have a sweep to see if she could help get things moving, whilst examining me, I was informed I was dilated by 2 cm. I went home and continued to have these mild contractions for the next 2 nights, each time waking up with butterflies thinking ‘this is it’ however 10 minutes later, I would fall back asleep and wake up still pregnant, another false alarm I thought.

20131113-181858.jpg me and Eivissa at a midwife appointment

Then on monday 21st at 6.30am, I woke up with a sense of urgency that today was the day, I woke Danny and told him that I was having what I thought were contractions, they were very mild and not painful, we quickly got the stop watch out and started timing, every 4 minutes they were happening and this continued for a couple of hours. We’d already decided on a home waterbirth and the pool was all set up at the foot of our bed ready to be filled with water. Danny leapt into action and grabbed his hose and attached it to the taps and started to fill the birth pool. Mum and Dad arrived at 8.30 to take our other daughter, Eivissa, leaving Danny and I alone.
With the pool half full, I noticed my contractions slowed down to 10 minutes apart and then down to 20 minutes apart, I was convinced that this was it, perhaps, I was too relaxed so we decided to head to the supermarket to see if a bit of activity might help. As soon as we got there at 12.15 pm I was hit by a big contraction that made me stop in my tracks. I knew something was happening and whilst Danny hurried round the shop I found myself on the crisp isle having contractions every few minutes, I’m not having my baby in between the quavers and watsits I thought so I grabbed Danny and off home we went. On the way home I called the midwife and told her what was going on but I could tell by the tone in her voice that she wasn’t convinced I was in labour, after all, who goes shopping whilst in labour? The protocol when you advise the midwife of your labour is that they come out to assess you to see where your at, I think she thought she would be leaving after checking me over as to look at me, you wouldn’t think I was about to give birth. After a very quick examination it was found I was dilated by 3cm, she decided to stick around for a couple of contractions.

It was my time now, I had been planning this birth for a long time and I knew I had to get into my zone, I had been preparing my mind and body to do what I believed it could do, my music was on, candles were lit and I felt very relaxed in both mind and body. After 3 contractions my waters broke, this was at 1.30pm, the midwife took her coat off and announced she was staying.
Danny got the pool to the correct temperature and I put my birthing outfit on I as soon as I got in I felt so comfy, the sun was shining in through the windows and Danny was holding me closely, I felt so in control, my surroundings were perfect and the sound of the gentle music and smell of the scented candles took me into an almost subconscious relaxed state. I didn’t know how long it would take to get to 10cm, all I knew is that the contractions were becoming more frequent and more intense as the minutes went by.

Even though the midwife was in the room, I felt completely alone with Danny, he was in tune with my wants and needs and everything that I wanted from this birth I knew he wanted for me too, if two people are pulling in the same direction then momentum will form and it becomes harder to penetrate. The midwife just sat back observing everything, her relaxed state gave me confidence everything was going well. After an hour or so I felt a huge amount of pressure in my bottom and I felt like I wanted to push, the midwife called for a second midwife as I think we all knew this baby was coming very soon.

20131113-153825.jpgglabour birthing outfit

Three strong contractions came and with one big push I felt her head come out, I maintained my focus and listened to what my body was telling me, with one more push, my beautiful little angel arrived into our world, guided out by our amazing midwife and at 2.50pm our little girl, Cataleya Lilliana Greig weighing 7lb 7oz was finally here. I couldn’t believe it, everything that we had hoped and prayed for was finally here.
20131113-154216.jpg

Cataleya Lilianna Greig

I felt no pain at all as she came out, she went behind me so I couldn’t see her, the midwife guided her out, baby and I both got a bit tangled in the cord and I imagine it was quite a picture watching us untangle ourselves.
We had reached the ultimate climate of mankind and we were so overwhelmed by the love that this precious life had brought us that all we could do was cry tears of joy, there isn’t a word that’s been invented for the amount of love we had for our beautiful, beautiful baby girl.

20131113-162709.jpg

My Beautiful girl

The moments after were so special, I just sat there in the pool with Danny’s arms cradling baby and I, our little girl was just nestling on my chest taking in her new surroundings. I waited for the cord to finish pulsating then Danny cut the chord and I transferred myself to the bed to deliver the placenta. I opted to deliver the placenta naturally and with a few tightening feelings in my stomach, it was all out.
Straight away she started to feed off my milk and she latched on very easily which was a lovely feeling as I love breastfeeding.
The midwife then gave me a quick check and cleaned up the bed and I was all set, I didn’t need any stitches which was a welcome relief and we were just left alone to enjoy our new addition.

I remember sitting there, completely in awe of my body and thankful for my experience, I truly believe that all the preparation that Danny and I had done over the last few years, praying, believing and being in complete faith for this experience is testament that it can be. If you apply your mind to anything then it can be achieved, too many people try and scare you with the horror stories and I’m living proof that it doesn’t have to be that way, I’m not special, Nor am I better than anyone else, I don’t have the magic formula and I can’t say that if you follow what I did then you will have the same results, all I can say is, why not give it a shot, hey, who knows maybe we can change what the worlds view of childbirth has become.

20131113-161112.jpgEivissa with Cataleya

If you are considering a home birth then I highly recommend it, I was sent the ‘pool in a box’ by a company called ‘my good birth’ and I found it to be better than expected, the kit comes with everything you need and helped make my birth a great experience. www.mygoodbirth.com

WATCH MY HOME WATER BIRTH HERE

Announcing the birth of Cataleya

21 Oct

20131111-124643.jpg
Our Beautiful miracle, Cataleya Lilianna was born at 2.50 on 21st October 2013 by home water birth.

20131111-124836.jpg

Her name is Colombia’s national flower and means beauty, strength and love and we Love her so much!

Setting up my birth pool from My Good Birth

1 Oct

Choosing the right pool for you to give birth in is very important and I wasn’t quite sure where to look at first. When I found Pool in a Box on the My Good Birth website I knew it was perfect for the experience I was hoping for.

20131001-210534.jpg
I opted for the regular size so Danny could get in to the pool too if he wanted to. The fact it’s inflatable made it seem easy to put up and comfortable to lean on. It comes with a seat and a cup holder and the standard kit comes with everything you need for birth. Floor lining, thermometer, tap adapters and pipes for filling, non slip mat, submersible pump and strainer. I also got a hooded towel for baby, water cup, an anchor for helping different positioning in second stage of labour and a clear fit cover.

20131001-212959.jpg

I ordered my pool and kit before 1pm and it arrived the next day with a text from the courier letting me know what hour they would be delivering. It was a fab delivery service especially if your worried baby is going to make an early appearance.

20131001-213011.jpg

Sitting in my box! Can’t wait to set it up, with help from hubby of course.

20131001-212119.jpg
We decided our bedroom would be the best place so I could get straight onto my bed after. The instructions were easy to understand and Danny had the pool up in no time. We put the cover over the top to keep it clean and sterile inside. Now all we need to is wait for labour to begin.

20131001-212455.jpg
All prepared! Cameras at the ready too and I will post the link to watch my birth, when it happens!

20131001-212754.jpg

20131001-212821.jpg

I am so pleased with my birth pool and I can’t wait to use it. I feel it will really help towards a relaxed and wonderful home birth.

Order your pool in box at mygoodbirth.com

Choosing a home water birth

1 Oct

I absolutely loved my first birth experience, so when thinking about options for my second birth I wanted an even calmer, more relaxed atmosphere, so a home water birth felt like the natural thing to do. One born every minute were now filming in Bristol, if they had been filming in leeds I would have loved to have been part of the series again. My husband had two dreams that he had delivered our baby at home. (He never remembers his dreams! ) so that got me thinking why don’t i prepare for a home birth. Feeling prepared is a big part of me being in control and relaxed. We attended a home birth class at the LGI and I was convinced. The sastistics were very interesting and realised everything I needed for my first birth would be in my house, so why go any where else?

This information is from the NCT web site NCT.org.uk
Research has found no difference in the death rates of mothers or babies between planned home births and hospital births. Studies have found that, compared to women planning a hospital birth, those planning a home birth have:

a lower risk of having a caesarean section,
a lower risk of an assisted delivery, i.e. forceps or ventouse and
less risk of haemorrhage.
This was confirmed by the Birthplace study which found that women planning a home birth were more likely than women planning for birth in other settings to have a normal birth: 88% of planned home births are ‘normal births’ compared to just under 60% of planned obstetric unit births.

Labour tends to progress well at home, where women feel relaxed and free to move as they wish. You are also under less pressure to labour within strict time limits. This means there is less need for intervention such as drugs to speed up labour, or delivery with forceps or ventouse. These interventions carry risks, as well as potential benefits, and are more likely to be suggested in a hospital birth. Finally, there is less risk of infection at home, for both mother and baby.

Babies born at home are:

less likely to be in poor condition at birth,
less likely to have birth injuries and
less likely to need resuscitation.
Your midwife will monitor your baby’s heart and your condition regularly through labour, and will advise that you transfer to hospital if she has any concerns about the health of either of you. The aim is to transfer well before a situation becomes an emergency.

This information defiantly put any worries out of my head and any negative comments I’ve heard about home birth being more dangerous than a hospital birth in anyway to mother or baby.

My pros for having a home waterbirth
* relaxing atmosphere that we can create with candles, lighting etc
*be able to play music
*will be prepared if baby decided story come quick
* be able to get straight on to my bed
* have the full attention of 2 midwives
* don’t have to worry about the hospital being being busy
*won’t have to make the car journey to hospital in labour
* Danny can be in the pool with me
* my daughter can be close by
* the community midwife I have seen for all my checks will be delivering the baby.
* all the medical equipment and injections I had in hospital for my first birth will be brought to my house
* I can set my video camera up to film
* I can have as many visitors as I want as soon i would like

My cons for having a home birth
* possibility of being transferred to hospital
* won’t have the bringing baby home moment

As you can see there are far more pros for me deciding to have a home birth for my second baby. When I think about my next birth Experence I get so excited about the feel of peace and celebration in the air.

I am so glad I had my first birth in hospital as being there made me feel more at ease. The midwives were brilliant and I had the most calm and un medical experience I could have being there. Now I know how my body works I feel I a home water birth would be perfect this time. It would give me just that extra bit more control of my surroundings and atmosphere.

Enjoying my pregnancy

18 Sep

I have only 4 weeks to go until my beautiful baby is here and I can’t wait to meet her, I have enjoyed every stage of this pregnancy and to be able to say that is such a triumph, after the ups and downs we have been through to get here. At times I never thought I could get back to the woman I was when I gave birth to my beautiful girl 2 years ago yesterday, full of positivity, faith and joy.

20130918-164009.jpg
Eivissa a few minutes old

20130918-163500.jpg
Eivissa blowing out her candles on her 2nd birthday.

After suffering 2 miscarriages I wasn’t sure how I was going to enjoy being pregnant again. The thought of 40 weeks of fear really scared me. We decided to put things on hold and to just enjoy what I had been blessed with, my daughter, husband, family and friends and hopefully once my mind was healed then another baby would follow.

Fast forward to a healthier state of mind and equipped with a healed heart, we found out the best news, that we were expecting again, we were thrilled to bits but also weary and cautious due to our difficult past. We were sent for an early scan at 6 weeks and seeing that little heart beat was amazing, I knew from that moment that our baby would be healthy and strong.

In order to enjoy my pregnancy I decided to act hoping my feelings would follow. We told close family and friends we were pregnant as soon as we found out, knowing that their prayers and positive vibes were going to spur us on, it certainly made those first 12 weeks a lot easier.

20130917-213547.jpg
12 week scan pic

The last two times we were in this room, the news wasn’t good, now it was ‘our time’. Documenting this gave us a focus, turning a negative into something very positive.

20130917-213722.jpg
Just before we went in
At 20 weeks we had a gender reveal party, we wanted to make every moment of this pregnancy a real celebration! it was such a fun way to find out we were having a girl! I could now start to think about what she would be like, collecting things for her momento box.

20130917-215638.jpg
I have loved having my bump again and this time I have made sure to take pictures every week.

20130917-220907.jpg

20130917-221128.jpg

20130917-221224.jpg
Yey at 30 weeks my bump decided to properly show up!

20130917-221335.jpg
33 weeks on holiday. I was really proud to show off my bump. We had a really great time and I felt in good health. Only a little swelling of the feet but otherwise I was able to keep up with everyone else.
.

20130917-235746.jpg
I feel such a sense of achievement that I have been able to overcome my fears and feel stronger and wiser than when I had my little girl. I’m hoping my experience can give hope to some women who have suffered miscarriage or loss. We will be appearing on the next series of ‘Oneborn what happened next.’ They have featured our story and the new pregnancy. It makes me happy that our second little girl will see how much she was hoped and prayed for.

20130917-222613.jpg
Sit down interviews for Oneborn follow up show.

20130917-222654.jpg
Eivissa helping cameraman Ben out.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 70 other followers